And it goes on and on and...

on and on and on...

9 months left till I can run around camp in my underwear, exclaiming three, very treasured, very sacred, very sexy and very beautiful letters.

O. R. D.

Man, one can literally go NUTS thinking of that. But you know, life's not so bad anymore. Being a 3SG in Tekong... Once you get past the initial "New Spec, Old Spec" rubbish, things go swimmingly.

Oh but i don wanna talk about that crap. Not now.

I wanna talk about her.

OK, so i use "her" alot. I don wanna name names, I'm paranoid.

See, girl A, or I always refer to her, is "Safe and Secure". She's the God-fearing, born-again Christian type. In essence, the politically correct girl to go for.

Then, there's girl B, or "Fun and Wild". She's illegally young at 17 (ok, i will never committ statutory rape, so illegal may not be a fair word to describe this), she's well, fun, wild, interesting, funny.

But fast forward! This conumdrum has been... erm, unconnumdrumized! Basically, Fun and Wild got a boyfriend. That usually does it for me. "It" being "lost all interest".

Sad that it stemmed from that that I finally settled on Safe and Secure.

And sad that i'm writing in such a nonchalant manner.

Now, i'm disturbed. What if, hypothetically, we got together. And, what if, she finds out I was weighing her in with another girl? How would she react? And besides, at that initial juncture, Fun and Wild seems to be my No. 1 choice. I hate me. I'm such a jerk. You know, I think God was trying to steer me away from Fun and Wild by giving her a boyfriend. I wonder if God worked that way. I mean, everything happened under God's supervision right? But, of course, we'll never know His purpose and I'm just being a complete jerk by putting words into God's mouth. Enough about that now.

I'm still disturbed. It's not fair to her. And i can't just hope she never asks that question (here i go, the Big Dreamer absorbed into thinking I'm with her.). Oh well, when it comes to crunch time, i know i have to be honest. I really felt that way. Really. I wanted Fun and Wild. I was dumb. Let's shelve this little discussion for another day.

Now let's talk about Safe and Secure.

See, i've been spending alot of type with Safe and Secure (Let's keep it simple and revert to refering her as "girl A".). And i've been spending SOME time with God as well. My head is clearer now and i can really see that she is the right choice.

Why I Like Her...

Why i like her. A bloody good question. First and foremost, it really sets my heart at ease that's she not some nominal Christian who's faith is so volatile, like mine. She's strong, and convicted. On fire. You can really see she has a deep desire to further her thirst for God. She is utterly convinced that her spiritual satisfaction comes from our Living God. She is transformed and has since blosssomed into a mighty soldier for God.

She is kind and gentle. She never has a harsh word for anyone. You don't really see her wanting to hurt any one. Well, at least, I haven't seen that side of her yet. I mean, let's not be naive. There are times in life when someone has wronged you and all you wanna do is just to drug him, chop him up and feed him to the dogs.

She seems to have an affinity for kids. She strives to love others.

Wow, you know what? I don't want to carve a statue of her and worship it. I want to know her truly. Her strengths and her flaws both. I mean, knowing a person more mean spending more time with her.

I do want to.

I mean, we've been going out in groups and such. It's kinda hard to talk to her when's there's others around distracting us, stealing our attention. And i don't wanna drop the bomb yet. That's what i always do. Drop the bomb early. So much so i scare her off. We've yet to establish that bond.

And don go saying "i've got a feeling she likes me" cause, simply, you're an idiot who knows crap about how woman feels. Even though she can be paying more attention to you could just be because she feels comfortable with you AS A BROTHER IN CHRIST.

So, please dude, don't go jumping to conclusions, thinking, oh she has the hots for me. You need to know that. Whatever rubbish you hear about siezing the moment before it's too late is, well, rubbish! The moment isn't here.... yet!

Sigh.

Headache. You know what? For now. Just be her good friend ok? And pray. Pray, pray, pray.

Pray.